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RBG

RBG

you were the MVP!


from dissent

to majority

your jabot told it all.


you set the precedent

for future presidents-

there aint no ‘we’

less there’s gender equality

and rights of minorities

that’s decree.


you were a vocal hater

when it came to fakers

how were they surprised?

it weren’t ill- advised

we can’t stay neutral

with a man so brutal.


fuck the rest

no regrets!

no, no, no, notorious!


RBG

made herstory!


in the VMI

women couldn’t apply

now it’s wo-mandatory.

(thanks ruth!)


we don’t need a man to sign

it was about time

got our own banks, statutory.

(thanks ruth!)


equal pay and social security

marriage and juries

now they ain’t discriminatory.

(thanks ruth!)


from struck to roe

she let them know

our bodies, our choice

-hear our voice!


now we find ourselves

in an aberration

what will become

of this great nation?


RBG

your integrity

sincerity

a remedy

to these extremities.


fuck polarity

disparity

we need solidarity!


RBG

your supremacy

legacy

let it be the trajectory

not a memory.


vote, vote, vote, BIDEN!!!

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Uncategorized

mask smiles

the thing i like about the masks

is when i look at someone

and smile

i see the mask lift

ever so slightly

and the corners of their eyes crinkle

and i know they’re smiling back

i wonder

was it a teeth smile

or a lip smile

and if so,

was it a down curve

or an up curve

were there dimples

was it a grin

or a beam

and then i realise

how lovely

the seeking and pondering of smiles

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Uncategorized

morning death ritual- a memory

you’re sleeping

it’s not peaceful

or full of magical dreams

just a shutdown

from the relentless pain

of the present moment

a temporary release

from the trauma.


your eyes open

the impending doom

of the day ahead

fills your body with a dread.


you can’t move

you’re heavy

stuck

frozen.


the panic in your chest

starts to rise

fearful thoughts

fill your mind

– it hurts.


a toxic chemical

swimming around your skull

– poison.


those first few moments of consciousness

feel like a slow, painful death.


it’s so frightening.


terrifying.


and yet nothing has even happened

– yet.


there’s no gun

so you imagine

the bullet

shooting through your temple

then one more to the forehead

just to be sure.


for the first time

since you’ve opened your eyes

you breathe.


you’re dead

so now you can live.


– not long baby girl

joy is on its way.


soon you will wake

with a smile

breathing mindfully

with grateful thoughts.


mornings filled with coffee

dog walks

cuddles

thick socks

and telly.


no guns

just love.


lovely

ordinary

vulnerable

every day

love.


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Uncategorized

an ode to porridge

perfectly ordinary

but really

quite extraordinary

the things you can do

with a humble oat.


forget about toast

i don’t want your fry up

keep your pancakes

all they ever do

is make me bloat.


rolled or steel cut

instant or groats

whatever you choose

honey

you’re in for a treat.


on that note

do you fancy a drizzle?

or perhaps some maple

is more

up your street?


maybe you’re more savoury?

cheesy

eggy

mushroomy

– that sure ain’t me.


i’m a fruity

nutty

kinda girl

a sprinkle of seeds

mmm yummy!


sometimes i like to

switch it up

mix in some chia

then pop ’em in the fridge

and leave overnight.


take ’em out in the morn

chop a banana

a spoon of nut butter

ooooh yeeaah

that’s how to start the day right.


what i love most is

i’m full for hours

none of this

binging, picking, snacking

rubbish.


i’m fuelled up!

weight lifting

park running

yoga stretching

-i sure ain’t sluggish.


so i guess what

i am trying to say

is that when it comes to breakfast

there’s really

no other way.


go on!

treat yourself

to a big ol’ bowl of porridge

’cause you deserve to have

the most amazing day.


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hampstead

polly’s tea room

pugs in prams

fruit stool geezers

the pretty bandstand


wind chimes and tight ropes

in hippies corner

‘that’s a rather large tree’

‘gosh, what a corker!’


pistachio gelato

from an ice-cream van!

it’s a different world

out here in the Ham


dozing hedgehogs and

squeaking squirrels

‘can you call your dog?’

‘come along now Sybil!’


heavy breathing

at the top of the hill

London’s never

looked so still


squatting in the bushes

for a hurried wee

fuck! shit! bollocks!

it’s trickled down my knee


Goodison fountain

for spring water sipping

then over to the ponds

for a spot of wild swimming


Kenwood house

the park and the lake

with it’s gorgeous white bridge

that turns out to be fake!


lost in the woods

far away from it all

staring up at the trees

stood wise and tall


hidden ruins

with overgrown vines

faded grandeur

from distant times


forest bathing

hill top praying

picnic eating

sunshine swaying


children playing

dogs chasing

friends laughing

lovers kissing


there’s a magic

something felt, not said

when you journey into

the great Hampstead


by Papillon Bond

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energy

there’s a bounce in my step

a wiggle in my hips

i want to play with myself

all day if i could

the only reason i wont

is simply because

there is this burning desire to create

i’m not sure what yet

maybe i’ll knit

or paint

or cook

or write

i know i want to dance

my feet are tapping as i type

then i’ll howl with my dogs

and piss off the miserable neighbours below

i’m sorry for the inconvenience of my wildness

NOT

i can’t contain it

it’s rising up inside me

bubbling

tingling

fizzing

i’ve got to do something with it

or fucking hell

i’ll explode

i better go

my hair’s on fire

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Uncategorized

freedom in forgiveness, wisdom in remembering

today i chose to forgive you

not because you asked

or did anything grandiose

(as my Maiden self would once have demanded)

but because today as i walked amongst the trees

i felt the power of the Mother

rise up through the roots of my feet

drawing my awareness to the truth that my anger and resentment

was hurting me

was baring weight on my shoulders

keeping my heart from receiving love.

and so for myself,

i forgive you.

i see your thoughtless mistakes and passive unkindness as a lack of consciousness

and not as a reflection of your true self.

and with this choice

i have experienced a new kind of freedom-

a letting go of the emotional tie to my pain;

witnessing it as an observer;

saying goodbye to my Maiden self;

no longer identifying with that person who would have allowed such disrespect.

forgiveness has allowed me to stand in my Mother power

i understand you are human

and see you with greater empathy

but

as we are taught in sacred stories

i will not forget.

not to punish or grow bitter

but to honour my hurt

to learn the signs-

for protection,

for self preservation.

in remembering

i choose wisdom.

your apologies and promises and gestures no longer determine my state of being

i choose to live in the peace of the present

i choose me!

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Photography, Reflections

a gentle awakening

the synchronicity between watching my curtains floating with the wind as I felt my love’s breath on my arm whilst he slept, gently woke me to the ephemeral beauty of life.

my little toe momentarily dipped into the expansive ocean of enlightenment, and for today that was enough.

i’m humbled by the simplicity, grateful for the opportunity and now crying into my third gin and tonic- the imperfection of this human experience is something i’m learning to enjoy.

to ground myself, i think again of his breath kissing my skin as the summer breeze wafted through my window and remember, it’s all connected.

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Poetry, Reflections, Trauma Recovery

home

i saw a tarot reader not too long ago, and nearly shit myself when i’d picked not one, but four death cards. 

‘no no’, she reassured. neither I nor my loved ones were about to cross over to the other side. 

i breathed. a little.

what did they mean then?

‘well’, she explained, ‘that dark cloud hanging over your head’, pointing to the space above me, ‘it’s going away, slowly, but it’s going’. 

i couldn’t imagine what that would feel like. 

for so long it had felt like everywhere i went, there it was.

heavy and painful. 

and no matter how hard i tried, there was no getting rid of that cloud.

i travelled the world to run from it. overworked myself to distract from it.used substances so I couldn’t feel it. pleased others to avoid it. controlled my eating and exercise, thinking i could beat it. 

i exhausted so much energy that i eventually broke down.

with nothing left, i was forced to sit with my dark cloud, my biggest fear.

on my knees, half-dead from it all, it rained.

correction, it fucking poured.

the storm of my past trauma hit me so hard i felt like i was drowning.

i thought i was going to die. 

but i didn’t. 

as i allowed myself to feel all that i had been running, fighting, numbing myself from, the lashings of rain began to soften to a light sprinkle.

what once were confusing blurs, i could now make out people. my people. those that could see the real me when i couldn’t see myself, when i couldn’t even see them. 

and those that had exploited my vulnerability, just quietly drifted away. 

as i explored my past with curiosity, the present became more joyful, the future more hopeful.

i reflected on my patterns of behaviours, and took responsibility for my part to play.

with that, i learned to forgive myself and in turn, others too. 

and all the pain that i had experienced that was beyond the control of my younger self, i made peace with.

‘to be alive, is to be traumatised’, as my mother would say.

‘it is beautifully human’. 

this truth became clearer and clearer until one day, there was no rain. 

i looked up to find that the dark cloud had gone. 

all that was left was a light breeze of change and warmth from the loving sun.

don’t get me wrong, there are days when i feel the hovering of a cloud.

but i know that i need not run, or fight, or numb.

i have learnt that if i just sit and feel the rain, it will pass.

i trust now that the sun will always be there, waiting behind the dark clouds to kiss my cheeks ‘welcome home’. 

i wrote this poem on my return.

to whoever needs it, i hope you find your way back soon.

there’s so much love here. 


Home

I lay here on my bed

Everything is quiet

Everything is still

I’m not in fear of the night before

Or concerned for what’s to come


My thoughts float freely

I let them pass like clouds rolling through the sky

I don’t get lost in an angry storm

Or try to run from the rain

I stand in my own sunshine

And watch the clouds keep on rolling


I belong in my body

It’s lovely and warm and safe

I don’t panic at the pain

Or punish myself with comparison

I live here now and we’re healing

Learning from the scars

Listening to its needs

Paying gratitude by taking care


I feel roots at the bottom of my feet

Grounding me in nature


I feel the spirits of my ancestors

Pulsing through my veins


I feel the wings of angels 

Resting on my shoulders


I feel a universal energy

Tingling my skin


I feel love in my heart

And peace fills my lungs as I breathe


I’m trusting the sight of my intuitive eye


My imagination is like a fairground

It’s playful, it’s colourful, it’s wonderful


I hear the laughter of my inner child

And make sure she never stops


I’m connected to my magic

And pay attention to the signs of the Universe


I’m light

Yet stable


Ecstatic

Yet calm


I’m free

But not running


Wild

But not chaotic


And as I lay here on my bed

Where everything is still

And everything is quiet

I feel alive yet peaceful

And I know that this is home


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